No to Online Dating Sites, Go Out and Fish

A couple during a date Photo: Courtesy

Technology is here with us. We get really excited any time we interact with the ‘smart technology’. As much as it has made work easier for us, some of us have fully relied on it and perhaps ranked it part of our breathing system.

Relationships have been taken to another level where social media is our platform to connect with new people, make friends and meet our loved ones. For instance, online social media has provided a platform for dating sites such as Singles Around Me, Niko Single, Mirror among others.

This sounds like a very good idea to many but remember it has contributed to the deterioration of some factors around the circle of relationships. Dating sites have affected the bracket of dating in terms of:

1.    Interaction

A number of people have greatly shifted from face to face interaction to online meetings where technology is the only medium for communication. This has promoted fast rates of divorce cases due to the fact that people get into a relationship without basically knowing the real personality of each other.

At the end of the day they end up like, ‘l never knew you re this kind of a person.’ Apps like Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp are the top contributors of interaction though it has become a trend of ‘l love what l see’ without proper scrutiny of character and behaviour of the individual.

2.    Friendship

Friendship may not possibly develop in a day. To get a person you truly rely on and look up to, one must have created a relation bond of a true friend. A true friend can be identified by his actions towards you, the way he judges and values you among other ways.

Before one gets into a relationship or rather dating, they must have a friendship history. Sometimes some individuals skip this stage of friendship and agree to ‘a pretty face relationship’ that texted him through Facebook and to his surprise when the actual meeting is due, he learns who he had fallen in love with is not worth.

Social dating sites tend to allure people into relationships that can only waste time and resources on individuals. A small percentage of people find true love online. But, if interaction is the key in terms of setting time aside for meetings and sharing ideas, then it is safer.

A girl on her laptop Photo: Courtesy

3.    Character building

Characters are developed habits. The best way to learn the character of a person is when she is next to you. How she behaves to different situations, how she makes judgement before your sight will give you a clue if that very person is a keeper or not.

Some couples meet in bars and either of them helps the other to stop the drinking habits and be a better person to him or her. Character has a number of elements for example;

a)    Physical description: This takes the essence of how an individual dons like, looks like, carries herself, how she walks, interacts with others. Most people will make judgement from the impressions people portray the moment we set our eyes on them.

b)    Personality: Personality is all about what are you. The actions and behaviour you portray reveal your personality. For example, is the person impulsive, accommodating or unapproachable?

c)    Background: Who the person is, depends on the origin. Which surrounding the individual grow up in, the skills he developed the education behind his being and the job if with any. All these experiences of background make a person be what he is.

d)    Relationships: This covers how you relate with other people. Are you a friendly type?

e)    Words and actions: What you utter and do can tell your character. Not everything you do or say tells who you are. One must consider both sides.

f)    Motivation and inspiration: What makes a person be who she is? What is behind his success or failure? People are motivated either by money, experienced pain, some role models to them, fear, desire among others.

Hence, all these elements in combination with change and conflict tell the character of a person. All these may not be achieved through online dating sites better than how physical meeting can.

4.    Honesty, Loyalty and Trust

These elements may not necessarily be achieved in a short while not unless there’s time set aside for meetings to create the trust, openness and loyalty bond.